• You feel guilt when you have violated rules that you care about.

• You can also feel guilt when you feel like you haven't lived up to a standard that was set for you.

• Shame is similar to guilt, but it goes much deeper.

• You might think, "If others knew this secret, they would think differently about me."

• Shame causes destruction in your life by staying hidden from view.

• You may feel shame about alcohol misuse, sexual abuse, abortion, bankruptcy, and any other behavior that is viewed as "dishonorable" in the community.

• Your shame might sound like, "If others know this about me, they will reject me, think poorly of me, or not love me anymore."

• Overcoming guilt and shame does not mean letting yourself off for actions that you've done.

• It does involve taking a balanced look at what happened, coming to terms with an appropriate amount of responsibility, and deciding how to move forward.

There are five steps to overcoming your guilt and shame:

1. Assessing the seriousness of your actions

2. Weighing personal responsibility (if applicable)

3. Making reparations for any harm you caused

4. Breaking the silence surrounding shame

5. Self-forgiveness